For those who are actually interested, I threw together a tumblr page to archive all of my Team Fortress 2-related fanart.  There's nothing on it that isn't on here and y!gallery combined, but if you can't stand y! and want to see my fanart with more dicks, eat your hearts out.

[link]

In case you missed it, there are dicks here, lots of them, so if you really do NOT want to see dicks, don't go there and then be shocked.  And no, I'm not trying reverse psychology here, I'm trying to politely discourage people who aren't into homo-gay fanart from checking a URL where they'll see it.  The end.

I feel like I'm trapped in four years ago.

And I did a bunch of reshuffling and stuff in my gallery.  I also blocked the 'comment' feature on a lot of my old fanart, since it's old and fanart and I don't really need anyone telling me it's "LOL SO FUNNY" or "LOL KEWL" to get through the day.

Geeze, it's December again already.

Graduated now, but I can't seem to find work.

Depressed.  Havn't been around on my usual AIM because I don't want to bore people with my inconsolable whingeing.

If I'm unresponsive or take weeks to look at something you drew and make a comment on it, please don't be offended.

Having grown sick of seeing my frustrated rant, I figured I should put up something more frivilous, like an in-depth description of my nonexistant pet cat or something.  Thanks to the kind donations of ~nukascrue, my sister and I have embarked on a journey of exploration, attempting to make custom meshes for The Sims 2.

If any of you wondeful children are interested in such a thing, I set up a small repository for our creations at [link]


long-lost pals and other wholly underappreciated folks



clubs wot I'm in

I usually don't bother writing in this thing because it's not "me" to keep a journal or put my experiences in a public place because I can't understand why anyone would read someone else's journal, but I don't know where else to really write about this.  

Since the spring of last year, my twin sister has been gravely depressed; she was a weepy basketcase all year, getting a little better during the fall.  Every day she would cry at least once, throw "fits", (headbanging, tremens) cut and scratch at herself.... for months I have been doing my best to try and keep her together, comfort her, praise her, carry that extra burden for her.... Even when I was recovering from surgery I still had to carry her emotionally.

Now it's the end of January; our parents had hoped she'd start looking for work when she got back here and she's spent the whole month seeing counsellors and advisors and therapists, paralyzed with fear at the thought of going out and trying to be employable.  She's rapidly going downhill again, and I no longer have the energy to carry her.  I can't concentrate on my university work, let alone think to my own future when my every waking hour is plagued with fears and concerns over her.  I try to be home so I can be with her and watch over her; whenever she's at her single class, (an extra credit she just felt like taking) I worry that she's going to be sad or hurting herself again.  Again.  Again.  Again.  I told her I'd have her put away if she cut herself again.... she has since, and I still havn't lived up to that promise.  She insists that I won't/can't have her committed.

Everything I've done and said.... everything our family, friends, counsellors, psychiatrists, classmates, teachers, aquaintances.... all the praise, help, encouragement... it's had no effect on her.  Everything is shit and rust to her; she has no confidence and hates herself so much she simply refuses to let herself believe that she has talent and other people might find her valuable or likeable.  I don't know what to do to help her anymore... I can't concentrate on my university work and spend all my time worrying that she's going to hurt herself.  It hurts so much to see her this unhappy for so long.

For those of you who want to get your hands on some of the customized stuff that my loveable twin and I have made for The Sims 2, I figured I'd link to our account...pagey.... thing.... at the Maxis/EA page.

[link]


As we make more stuff, we'll add it there, as I don't know if Sims textures would qualify for DA.

So I try searching DA to see if I can find some fanart, and I'm told that only paying members are allowed to use the search feature?  How the hell does that figure?


______________________

"I've never seen them before... but I've heard of them for years."

Twice in the past few days Kim and I have come across cicadas while going for a walk.  The first one we saw was on a chainlink fence, in the middle of emerging from its old skin.  We and Mel stood around for about 10 minutes watching it slowly work its way out before heading off for coffee, and when we came back, it was still there and its wings had grown from tiny green stubs to beautiful lacey, uh, wings.

The other one we saw a few days later had obviously just emerged from the ground and still had some soil caked-on to its shell.  It was moving quite sluggishly, so we stuck it in the crotch of a tree where it would be safe, and when we were heading back home along the same route, we discovered that it had already started moulting.  We watched as its little eyes popped-out from underneath the old shell- it was so cute, and looked quite a bit like the pokémon Paras.  I can see why the Japanese have a love of Cicadas.